


Stealing the TARDIS, or Five Times Parker Met the Doctor

by aron_kristina



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Leverage
Genre: Charity Auctions, Community: helpbrazil2011, Crossover, Eleventh Doctor Era, Five Times, Gen, Ninth Doctor Era, Parker is awesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-22
Updated: 2011-04-22
Packaged: 2017-10-18 12:22:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/188853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aron_kristina/pseuds/aron_kristina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time Parker sees him she's hanging upsidedown.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stealing the TARDIS, or Five Times Parker Met the Doctor

**Author's Note:**

  * For [grinninfoole](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=grinninfoole).



> Written for grinninfoole in the helpbrazil2011 auctions. Ey has waited most patiently for this, and I hope it satisfies.
> 
> As ever, thanks to C for the beta. Comments and concrit most welcome.

1.

Parker is hanging upside-down in van Staten’s underground lair. It’s full of alien technology, or so van Staten claims, but Parker has broken in mostly because security is so tight. The team is on a break, and she’s bored. She considers stealing something, but nothing she sees would be easy to sell, and Nate would be disappointed.

Things get interesting again when a blue box appears out of nowhere. It’s not something she could steal (it’s too large), but things usually don’t materialize like that. Then the door opens and a man walks out. After him comes a woman. They start poking around things, and Parker realizes it’s time to make her exit. These people are obviously amateurs, and they will set off the alarm any minute.

She almost doesn’t make it out in time, having to climb the last few feet with the loud ringing sound in her ear. Of course, it’s only almost. She is, after all, _not_ an amateur.

2.

Parker is on vacation. She’d ended up in England, because she wanted to see if she could steal the crown jewels. She intended to put them back, of course, since there was no way they could be sold on. Vacation means stealing things for the fun of it!

She has found London to be somewhat boring, and people talk funny, but they have the most amazing fried fish. Parker is currently eating such fried fish out of a newspaper (the people don’t seem so poor they can’t afford proper cartons, just strange enough to wrap their food in newspapers) when she sees that man again, and his partner. Or maybe friend. They are not trying to break into anything, they have clearly learnt their lesson, and they are strolling along eating fries. No, chips. Strange people, the English.

She looks at them properly this time, and she probably stares a bit (Sophie has told her she shouldn’t), because they look back at her, so she smiles and tries to look normal. It doesn’t seem to work very well, because the woman grabs the man’s hand and tries to drag him away, but the man smiles back, in a strangely awkward way, so maybe it’s not that bad.

3.

Parker isn’t concentrating, totally focused on the smoothie she’s drinking, so she walks straight into someone. This someone turns out to be a tall man who is wearing a strange suit jacket and a bow tie.

“Sorry,” he says, and that explains his strange clothes. He’s English. Parker feels his pockets reflexively, but he grabs her wrist before she manages to grab something in there. He smiles at her, still holding onto her wrist, before running after a red head who’s obviously waiting for him. For some reason it doesn’t bother Parker that he touched her, and she tries to pout, but it’s not that often she meets someone who manages to catch her in the act, and she’s intrigued.

4.

Parker is in London with Sophie. She’s not actually sure why, since they’re not working a job, but for some reason Sophie had convinced her that they needed some ‘girl time’. Parker doesn’t know what ‘girl time’ is, but she had gone along. She is a girl, and Sophie is a girl, and people talk funny in England. She likes that. It’s fun. There’s always something worth stealing in London in case she gets bored, and if she can’t find anything else she can always steal the Queen. Or her cute little dogs.

*

It takes two days before her and Sophie’s shared hotel suite is invaded by Hardison and Eliot. Apparently they were bored back home, and just ended up in London on a whim, but something in the way Hardison looks when he says it makes Parker think it’s something else. Maybe Nate had been crazier than usual, or maybe Hardison wanted to hear people talk here too. She doesn’t mind that they’re here now though. Maybe Eliot can help her carry the queen, because Parker knows about little old ladies, and they’re heavier than they look.

“Parker, you can’t steal the queen,” Sophie had said when Parker brought it up, but that was just crazy. Of course she could.

*

Parker is out walking in a park when she sees something mysterious. It’s a tall man trying to break into a blue box. There’s something vaguely familiar about the man, like someone she’s seen on tv, or maybe in adverts, but she can’t place him.

His lock picking technique is really bad though, and his bowtie is weird, and that’s what jogs Parker’s memory. Hanging upside down in van Staten’s museum and seeing this exact man , but not this man, really suck at B and E. Running into this exact man on the street. She remembers this man catching her in the act of picking his pockets, and she decides to help him.

“You need to flick your wrist,” Parker says when she comes closer, because this is an old lock, really simple to pick, and the man is just too bad for her not to comment on it.

“Stupid thing,” the man mutters. Parker stands and looks at him for a while before she loses patience and pushes him out of the way. It takes her .5 seconds to have the door unlocked. The man doesn’t thank her, just pushes past her and moves inside the box.

“No, no, no, no, no,” he says from inside, and whatever he was trying to steal must not be in there anymore. Well, no wonder.

“What are you trying to steal,” Parker says conversationally, because this is the most interesting thing that has happened all week.

“I’m not trying to steal anything,” the man says, walking out of the box. “I’m trying to find my TARDIS.”

“Is that the box that shows up out of nowhere?” Parker asks. The man looks at her.

“Who are you?” he asks.

“Parker,” Parker says.

“Well, I’m the Doctor, and I need to find my TARDIS. It looks like this, but this is the wrong box!”

“I know someone who can help with that,” Parker says.

*

“You’re an alien. A proper spaceman,” Hardison says, not for the first time. Parker isn’t sure why this is so hard to believe, but the rest of the team seem to find the idea of an alien needing help getting his spaceship back strange. They’ve been at it for an hour now, and if Parker had known how difficult this would be she wouldn’t have waited until Nate came to London before talking to the rest of them. Would have saved some time.

“Yes, I’m a Time Lord,” the Doctor says for the fifth time, or something like that, and Parker has had enough.

“We have a case,” she says. “ A case. Where is the plan, and the crazy, and Nate’s dramatic exit? Let’s get to work!”

They all look at her, various shades of stunned. Then Nate clears his throat.

“Ok, people,” he says awkwardly, “let’s go steal a TARDIS.”

*

The plan doesn’t actually involve stealing a TARDIS (and it’s the Doctor’s TARDIS, so it’s not like they could steal it in the first place. Steal it back maybe), or anything, really. It’s more of breaking into a top secret, heavily guarded facility. Which suits Parker fine. The Doctor claims that if they can just get him in there undetected he will fix the rest. So the plan is that Parker is breaking in and taking the Doctor with her to the room where the TARDIS is supposedly kept. The flaw in the plan is that they can’t get confirmation that the room they’re planning to break into is the right room.

“Ok, so Parker gets in through this air vent,” Nate says. “And then you get down to the basement, where there is a camera blind spot, to open the door there and let the Doctor in. Hardison is in charge of making sure the alarms don’t go off, and the rest of us are on standby for distractions. Questions?”

Nate always looks more alive when he has a project to work on, plans to make, and this is no different, even if he keeps sneaking glances at the Doctor. Parker still doesn’t get why they are all so weirded out by him, but when she asked Eliot he had looked at her strangely.

“How am I making sure the alarms don’t go off?” Hardison says. “I mean, I can break into their security system, but it takes time. They’ve got firewalls like you wouldn’t believe.”

The Doctor looks up from the laptop he’s fiddling with.

“Oh, I have this little gadget,” he says, and sticks something that resembles an USB stick into the computer. Hardison tries to protest, but the Doctor is quicker than he is.

“Can’t use it myself, but I’m told it’s very good,” he says and gives the laptop to Hardison, who looks scandalized for a moment before lighting up.

“Oh,” he says, and Parker frowns. “Oh, this is beautiful.” He starts tapping away at the keyboard.

“Alright then, Hardison?” Nate says. “Hardison? Hardison!”

“Mmm,” Hardison answers, not even looking up. The Doctor chuckles.

“Fine. We have to wait until it’s dark, so go do whatever it is you do, people. Don’t get arrested,” Nate says.

“Don’t get drunk”, Parker says cheerfully on her way to her bedroom for a nap. Nate shoots her a dirty glance.

*

Getting in through the air vent goes just fine, and getting the Doctor in does too. It’s when Parker is picking the lock on the door to the super secret hallway leading to the super secret room that things go a bit pear shaped.

“Parker,” the Doctor hisses just as she’s about to crack the last lock, and then, “hello there, my good man.”

Parker stands up and tries to smile. There is a man in the corridor, and he’s pointing a gun at them. Nate is talking in her ear.

“What are you doing here,” the man asks.

“Oh, nothing, just having a quick look around,” the Doctor says. “Really nice place you have here, very well maintained.”

“Parker, status report,” Nate says again. She has to do something, has to be Sophie for a minute.

“Me and my man here were just looking for a quiet place, you know,” she says in a ridiculous imitation of a Southern dialect. she’s not even sure where she’s supposed to be from, and she hopes the guard doesn’t either. She goes to stands close to the Doctor, sneaking an arm around his waist. “Away from all the people.”

“I’m sending Eliot, hang tight,” Nate says.

“My, what a nice gun,” Parker says, desperate to get the message across, since she doesn’t have her taser, and the guard is too far away even if she did. “Do you get to shoot it a lot?” She really hopes he will buy her stupid act, and that the Doctor will say something. She hasn’t heard him be this quiet ever.

“Maybe we should go, honey,” the Doctor says, finally stepping up as the Nate to her Sophie. “This man obviously doesn’t want us here. You can finish what you started.” He raises an eyebrow and looks at her. It’s obvious that he’s not very good at this.

“Stay were you are!” the guard says.

“Ah, but if...” the Doctor start, and then Eliot shows up and has him disarmed in half a minute.

“Just sit still and everything will be fine,” Eliot says without inflection. Parker goes back to her lock-picking.

“40 seconds,” Hardison says in her ear. Parker ignores him. She’s almost there.

“Got it!” she says, and she and the Doctor pile into the room. The Doctor immediately goes up to the blue box and starts petting it. She doesn’t want to interrupt, but Hardison is yelling “ten seconds” in her ear, and Eliot has showed up too, so she taps him on the shoulder.

“We have to leave now,” she says.

“Yes, yes,” the Doctor says and unlocks the door. He ushers them inside.

“Parker, Eliot, meet the TARDIS. TARDIS, meet Parker and Eliot,” he says, while Parker stands around looking. And looking. The inside of the box is bigger than the outside.

“The inside is...” she starts to say, but the Doctor interrupts her.

“Yes, no time for that now. Hold on!”

Parker grabs hold of the railing going around the large room, and Eliot throws himself down next to her, shielding her body with his. She would resent it if it were someone else, but it’s just something Eliot does. He doesn’t think her weak, he’s just the protecting kind.

The TARDIS groans and shivers, and they’re thrown around, desperately clinging to the railing, and then it suddenly stops. Parker realizes she’s closed her eyes, and opens them. The Doctor is looking at them, beaming.

“It’s bigger on the inside,” Parker says, and giggles.

*

After, Sophie tries to get the Doctor to eat dinner with them, but he claims that he doesn’t do that kind of thing.

“What are you going to do now?” Sophie asks.

“Travel,” the Doctor says. “That’s what I always do.” He’s fidgeting with the cuffs of his suit jacket, and looking down at the ground. Parker is sure this means something, but she’s not sure what. Sophie will know.

“Alone?” Sophie sounds sad, and Parker feels sad too, because she’s been alone, and she doesn’t want anyone to be on their own, with no team.

“I’ll find someone. And I’ve got the TARDIS. Me and the old girl will be fine,” the Doctor says. He’s holding the door handle of the TARDIS door, and there is something about him. Parker goes up and hugs him.

“Come back sometime,” she says, and the Doctor just smiles at her. Then he opens the door and goes inside. Parker steps back, and the strange sound starts. The TARDIS flickers and then it’s gone. They’re all silent for a while.

“Let’s go home,” Nate says, and Parker turns around to leave.

5.

Parker has almost made it off the lawn when she hears the sound again. The box flickers into existence and Parker starts running toward it. The door opens and the Doctor pokes out his head. Parker stops.

“Parker, you wouldn’t want to go for a spin would you? See time and space?” the Doctor asks. He looks hopeful, and really, it’s not a difficult decision to make.

“Nate, I’m going on vacation. Bye Hardison, bye Sophie, bye Eliot. See you later,” she says before stepping inside.


End file.
